Communicate yourself to happiness!

Love is a wonderful thing, because it inspires one to be the best they can be. However, love alone is not enough to fuel the flames of a relationship. For this, love’s best friend “Communication” must come in and do it’s support work.

Will we fight for love, or has the world become completely cynical? Unfortunately today, more people tend to break up, rather than fight for their love. It’s almost as if we are losing our energy and willpower to hold onto this concept. Giving it up and resting for a bit sounds like a true relief. “So what?” we think, surely the next one, or even a better one shall come along? However, that is not always the case. When did we lose our ability to open our mouths and communicate to our partner what we need, feel and think?

An acquaintance of mine, lets call her Carla, is married to a national football player. When they first met, they were crazy about each other. They had wild passionate sex in every place imaginable! After a while, the sex went from everyday, to twice a week, and eventually twice a month. It was horrible! Carla felt rejected and unattractive. This pushed her to do strange diets, which made her walk around constantly hungry and aggressive. Her self-esteem literally vanished, and she even considered some unnecessary plastic surgery to make her husband hungry for her again! One day, we were having lunch, and I told her to sit down and talk to him like she was doing with me. I told her to pretend that he is just her friend, and spill her guts out to him. Carla was horrified at this idea, thinking that he will use her honesty against her in some future argument, or that he will think that she is weak and pathetic. I said if that’s the case, then she has nothing to lose, and must talk to him. So finally she had the nerves to do this. After a bottle of Barolo, Carla opened up her heart to him. She told him things that she never told another living soul! She told him about her insecurity and fear of losing him. He was sure that yet another hysterical fit will start at any minute, but it didn’t. Her honest and calm way of speaking both surprised him, and deeply touched his heart. He admitted to her that he was depressed because she always walked around the house angry, and didn’t seem to notice him at all anymore. Plus she lost so much weight, and he missed her curvier figure. Carla was so happy to hear this! At the end, both were suffering from the same reason. Lack of communication and openness! Ever since that conversation, they have kept their communication lines open, and are happier now than ever! They saved their love!

Many reasons influence the lack of communication with partners. Perhaps the fear of losing your partner affects your willingness for open talking, or not wanting to argue, yet again? For example, you two are going out for dinner and you make yourself beautiful. He comes home after a long day at work, gets ready for the dinner, and doesn’t comment on how fabulous you look. You ask yourself, “Why doesn’t he compliment me anymore?” This makes you sad. You are quieter than usual the entire dinner, and he senses the tension between you. He asks what’s wrong, and you say…”Nothing.” Ladies, we have all been there. Maybe not in this exact situation, but we have all been guilty of saying, “Nothing is wrong”, when in reality, you want to hit him on the head with your purse, like those grandmothers in the classic movies. Wouldn’t it be nice if men were really as psychic as we wish them to be? In reality, they have no clue what the hell is going on in our heads when we say, “Nothing is wrong”, while we are boiling inside. Of course it’s easier to go and complain to our friends about him, but this will not solve the problem. Instead, take the situation into your hands and do something about it. Tell him what’s wrong…

With every unshared misunderstanding, you add “frustration drops” into an invisible bucket. Eventually it gets too full, and starts spilling over, until it floods everything. Meaning, all the crap adds up, until it eventually blows up into a huge argument, which may lead to a separation. The worst is talking about personal things like bodily hygiene, money issues, illnesses, criticism, etc. But in order for the relationship to work, you must find the strength within you to address such issues. Open communication does not equate to personal attacks. Try to tell him how you feel in a calm and rational manner. I made the observation and experience that men simply shut down at displays of unruly emotions, extreme bitchiness, hysterics, screams and accusations. If you start the conversation with, “We need to talk”, then consider their system shut down immediately. Pick a time when both are in a good mood, have a drink together, and start the conversation in a calm and collected way. Do not do this directly after a fight, because both sides are angry, and open communication will not work. Hurtful words will be said because that’s when the evil ego is at its strongest. Wait until the emotions and temper have cooled down. Never attack. Speak calmly with respect and confidence.

You should be able to communicate well with your partner, and share your sorrows. Santa Clause won’t help you, really, I tried that. He just shrugged. The nerve of the grey bearded-man! Open your mouth and talk. Try to get over the stupid ego and open yourself up to your partner. If they truly love you, they wont judge you. By the way, same rules apply for friendships, work situations, family, etc. Be the smart one, and start a new path of open communication with the ones you love. It’s worth it! Besides, you will see what a huge relief it is to share your thoughts, feeling and fears. Learn to communicate openly, and the world shall be yours!

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Love is a wonderful thing, because it inspires one to be the best they can be. However, love alone is not enough to fuel the flames of a relationship. For this, love’s best friend “Communication” must come in and do it’s support work.

Will we fight for love, or has the world become completely cynical? Unfortunately today, more people tend to break up, rather than fight for their love. It’s almost as if we are losing our energy and willpower to hold onto this concept. Giving it up and resting for a bit sounds like a true relief. “So what?” we think, surely the next one, or even a better one shall come along? However, that is not always the case. When did we lose our ability to open our mouths and communicate to our partner what we need, feel and think?

An acquaintance of mine, lets call her Carla, is married to a national football player. When they first met, they were crazy about each other. They had wild passionate sex in every place imaginable! After a while, the sex went from everyday, to twice a week, and eventually twice a month. It was horrible! Carla felt rejected and unattractive. This pushed her to do strange diets, which made her walk around constantly hungry and aggressive. Her self-esteem literally vanished, and she even considered some unnecessary plastic surgery to make her husband hungry for her again! One day, we were having lunch, and I told her to sit down and talk to him like she was doing with me. I told her to pretend that he is just her friend, and spill her guts out to him. Carla was horrified at this idea, thinking that he will use her honesty against her in some future argument, or that he will think that she is weak and pathetic. I said if that’s the case, then she has nothing to lose, and must talk to him. So finally she had the nerves to do this. After a bottle of Barolo, Carla opened up her heart to him. She told him things that she never told another living soul! She told him about her insecurity and fear of losing him. He was sure that yet another hysterical fit will start at any minute, but it didn’t. Her honest and calm way of speaking both surprised him, and deeply touched his heart. He admitted to her that he was depressed because she always walked around the house angry, and didn’t seem to notice him at all anymore. Plus she lost so much weight, and he missed her curvier figure. Carla was so happy to hear this! At the end, both were suffering from the same reason. Lack of communication and openness! Ever since that conversation, they have kept their communication lines open, and are happier now than ever! They saved their love!

Many reasons influence the lack of communication with partners. Perhaps the fear of losing your partner affects your willingness for open talking, or not wanting to argue, yet again? For example, you two are going out for dinner and you make yourself beautiful. He comes home after a long day at work, gets ready for the dinner, and doesn’t comment on how fabulous you look. You ask yourself, “Why doesn’t he compliment me anymore?” This makes you sad. You are quieter than usual the entire dinner, and he senses the tension between you. He asks what’s wrong, and you say…”Nothing.” Ladies, we have all been there. Maybe not in this exact situation, but we have all been guilty of saying, “Nothing is wrong”, when in reality, you want to hit him on the head with your purse, like those grandmothers in the classic movies. Wouldn’t it be nice if men were really as psychic as we wish them to be? In reality, they have no clue what the hell is going on in our heads when we say, “Nothing is wrong”, while we are boiling inside. Of course it’s easier to go and complain to our friends about him, but this will not solve the problem. Instead, take the situation into your hands and do something about it. Tell him what’s wrong…

With every unshared misunderstanding, you add “frustration drops” into an invisible bucket. Eventually it gets too full, and starts spilling over, until it floods everything. Meaning, all the crap adds up, until it eventually blows up into a huge argument, which may lead to a separation. The worst is talking about personal things like bodily hygiene, money issues, illnesses, criticism, etc. But in order for the relationship to work, you must find the strength within you to address such issues. Open communication does not equate to personal attacks. Try to tell him how you feel in a calm and rational manner. I made the observation and experience that men simply shut down at displays of unruly emotions, extreme bitchiness, hysterics, screams and accusations. If you start the conversation with, “We need to talk”, then consider their system shut down immediately. Pick a time when both are in a good mood, have a drink together, and start the conversation in a calm and collected way. Do not do this directly after a fight, because both sides are angry, and open communication will not work. Hurtful words will be said because that’s when the evil ego is at its strongest. Wait until the emotions and temper have cooled down. Never attack. Speak calmly with respect and confidence.

You should be able to communicate well with your partner, and share your sorrows. Santa Clause won’t help you, really, I tried that. He just shrugged. The nerve of the grey bearded-man! Open your mouth and talk. Try to get over the stupid ego and open yourself up to your partner. If they truly love you, they wont judge you. By the way, same rules apply for friendships, work situations, family, etc. Be the smart one, and start a new path of open communication with the ones you love. It’s worth it! Besides, you will see what a huge relief it is to share your thoughts, feeling and fears. Learn to communicate openly, and the world shall be yours!

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The sadistic Jealousy Demon

Did you ever have the feeling that your blood is boiling, and fire will soon flare out of your nose? Why? Because your partner is looking at, or talking to the beautiful girl beside you at the bar! However in reality, he is simply being polite and asking if she can make space for him to order something for the both of you. If this situation sounds familiar to you, then you are part of the Jealousy Club. Welcome. There are many of us. I have been a member since my first relationship.

What can we do to overcome the battle with the Jealousy Demon? Sometimes I fear that jealousy over a partner can last for a lifetime, but actually it really is possible to work on this and destroy this monster! Do we have the power within ourselves to send this demon back to hell, where he belongs?

This brings me back to a story about my close friend Jilli. She went with her new love, Leo, to a club in Frankfurt called Kane & Abel. They had a few drinks and hit the dance floor. It was a lovely Saturday night, and the place was filled with beautiful people. They were dancing and having a great time, when all of a sudden, she spotted a pretty blonde woman smiling and winking at Leo! Jilli looked at him and noticed that he was smiling in the direction of this woman. Jilli felt the evil green claws of the Jealousy Demon scratching her from the feet to the throat. She turned around and walked towards the bar with a mission to drown her anger with a few vodka shots. Leo rushed after Jilli, not knowing what happened, and why she walked away from him. She told him what she saw. He couldn’t believe her words! He loved her so much, and swore that he would never do anything to hurt her. He said that his look in this particular direction was a coincidence, and that he didn’t even notice the woman that Jilli mentioned! Leo is a very tall and handsome man. It’s normal that he gets attention from women that find him very attractive, but he doesn’t do anything to instigate this. It’s not his fault that women stare at him. Jilli was very upset and walked out of the club, while confused Leo was running after her. Outside, the full effect of the vodka hit them both. Emotions were rising, and hurtful words were being said. What started off as a romantic evening, turned into a horrific rollercoaster ride to hell and back. Until this day, Jilli doesn’t know if Leo was flirting back with that girl or not, but the only thing that’s left is the fact if she trusts him or not. What could she do? It was his word against her alcohol-tainted impression of that evening. Thankfully they are still together, but even now, both of them sometime suffer from bouts of ridiculous jealousy.

Most of us have stared the Jealousy Demon directly in the eyes. Sometimes, this lifeless demon enters your body, and tortures you alive, until it has killed everything that you truly love! If I analyze myself, I would have to say that my jealousy in love comes from my insecurities. We are not made of stone. We have feelings and emotions. The best way to overcome these insecurities is to work on ourselves, and learn to love and accept ourselves as we are. With our flaws and imperfections! The jealousy can also occur because of many other reasons. One of them is because we are afraid to lose our partner to the “competition”. There will always be a prettier, taller, skinnier, smarter, cuter woman than us. At the same time, another woman might think the same thing of us when passing by with her man. Another reason might be that we make false interpretations of the behavior of our partners (Jilli thought that Leo was looking at the other woman, while he swore that he did not). These are simply wrong assumptions! Of course a painful situation from the past might also influence present jealousy. Not enough attention from your partner might also be the problem.

Whatever the issue might be, the problem is that not only are we hurting our partner in the process, but more than that, we are actually hurting ourselves the most! I am not saying that you must accept a cheating man/woman, but try to examine the situation and see if your fears can be really backed up by solid facts. Sometimes we see something from the corner of our eye that we think is a fact, when in reality it is not as it seems. What I can advise you is to have an open and honest communication with your partner. As hard as it may be, try to talk calmly about the situation before exploding at them because of something that may have not even happened.

Aside from our own insecurities, this mostly occurs because of a trust issue, or rather the lack of it. You must open up to your partner and address this sensitive issue. Try to control your sudden bursts of emotions (generated by the ego), and make an effort to attack the issue at the source. Trust is the most important element of a healthy relationship. Without it, the Jealousy Demon will constantly come back to haunt you. If your partner is awful to you, and gives you a direct reason not to trust them, then you must re-evaluate your relationship and decide if you want to continue to suffer or not. However, if your partner doesn’t give you a reason not to trust them, then the problem lies within you. Same thing has happened to me. I had to search deep within myself to figure out what made me so afraid to lose my partner! This is a very hard and quite uncomfortable process, but if you have the strength to do this, then you will find a way to beat this battle within you. I am still working on it, and it might take a while to do this, but starting is always the first and most important step. Some people say that jealousy is a sickness, but I think that it’s like an allergy that you either fight to the Death, or learn to live with. The choice is yours to make!

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Be a child again

I remember when I was a teenager in Toronto, my girlfriends and I had our first fake IDs made to get into clubs and parties. We couldn’t wait until our 18th birthday, and tried everything to look older. Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Now we are double that age, and try to do everything to look younger. Funny thing that we use the same tricks to try and turn back the aging-clock: Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Why did we not realize how amazing it was to be young and enjoy our childhood? Why did we always want to be older?

Society expects us to be responsible. Grow up fast, get an education, find a partner, have children, take care of them, get old, retire and die. So when do we actually have the chance to live out our dreams, and have fun? As a child you are not aware of the freedom that you have. You simply grow and become an adult. Well my dear adults, now that you are finally “there”, it’s time to reverse the process, start believing in Fairytales again, and awaken your inner child. Yes, s/he is still in there, but most likely has been sleeping for the last decades. Let’s wake it up, and see what new adventures the world has to offer us!

A common problem is that people are scared to be judged by society. What will people say if they see me like this? This reminds me of a date that I had a few years ago. I met a guy at an event in Frankfurt. Let’s call him “Mr. Cool”. On our first date, we went for a nice summer walk. Along the way, I saw a fun playground. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I ran towards it, and decided to climb the monkey bars, run on the overhead ladder, go on the swings… you get the point. I ran around acting like a crazy kid. I glanced at Mr. Cool, and I cannot even describe the look he gave me. A mix of “Jesus-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-get-off-that-swing-immediately!” and “I-don’t-know-this-crazy-girl-she-is-such-a-weirdo” look. To be honest, at that moment I didn’t even care what the ice block Mr. Cool was thinking about me, because I was having so much fun. He came to me, and I thought that he will finally join me on the swing, but instead he said, “Galia, stop it! This is embarrassing! I am a famous actor (He is indeed a well-known German actor), what will people think of me when they see me making a fool of myself on this playground?” Right at that point, I realized that it will never work out between us. Money and fame aside, if the guy cannot be easy-going and appreciate the simple joys in life, then he is not for me. Fun is not just eating at expensive restaurants, but also doing silly things like jumping on a swing together. I politely walked with him back to where we met, said goodbye, smiled, and left as quickly as possible. Why do some people take themselves so seriously? Do we really have to stick to these rigid “Adult behavior rules”, or can we sometimes let our inner child out to play? Mr. Cool called the next day to invite me to dinner, but I told him that my heart was not in it. I could not pretend to be someone that I’m not. I was looking for the one that would climb the monkey bars with me, laughing and being crazy together like children.

That is not to say that we have to ignore our responsibilities, quite the contrary! We have to enjoy ourselves and have fun while achieving our goals and tasks. When you do something with a happy heart, your task becomes a pleasure, and the result will be better. For example, if you are cleaning your car, draw funny figures on the dirty window, and send a picture of it to your loved one. If you have to clean your flat, put on some loud music and run around the house doing funny dances, while cleaning. Do what you can to make the task more fun. I know that daily stress due to work and personal issues can bring a huge amount of pressure upon us, but we must try to do our best to make this process easier for us. Being hard on yourself will not make the problems go away. You must give your “Adult-self” a chance to rest and rethink how you can ease the pressure with a good strategy. Try doing something fun, different, childish and funny in order to bring your mind to positive thoughts. Maybe then, new problem-solving ideas will come to you! The easiest way to begin is by smiling more often.

The older I get, the more I realize how special the time was when I was a child. Free of worries, free of fear, free to live and enjoy! It’s time to bring back the innocence, joy and pure form of fun. Purity. The world is missing this. We need to go back to the basics before we had the car, the mortgage, and the debts. We have to try to capture that feeling of pure joy that we once felt as children. There is much evil and hatred out there. Just turn on the news. Every day another catastrophe. Let’s try to be children of light, instead of darkness. You can enjoy by doing the simplest of things. Remember how excited we used to be when walking with our parents in the forest, looking for mushrooms? Or making homemade cookies with our grandmother, and eating them with our friends? Try to capture this feeling again.

Maybe these few ideas can help: look at photos of your childhood, play board games, take walks around fun places, go to an amusement park, throw out the “cool” attitude/personality, and be who you are, live more in the present, sing funny songs, draw, paint (even if you cant do it well!) be curious, ask questions, daydream, try doing the things you loved to do as a kid, play video games, and most important of all, never say “I’m too old”. The child within you is waiting to come out and play. So go ahead, be silly. No one is watching! And if they do, who cares?

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“In bed with Galia” – My video column is coming soon!

Journal Frankfurt  – 12.04.2013

Press for my upcoming video column ”In bed with Galia”. We will shoot the videos in the ROOMERS Hotel in Frankfurt. It is a beautiful, trendy and chic 5 star hotel, with mysterious hideaways and luxurious large beds. The perfect place to talk about love and sex! ;-)

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Be who you are

Scenario: You are at a party. Someone says something, and you add your opinion to it. As soon as the words come out of your mouth, people look strangely at you… and you feel like such a weird nerd. Sounds familiar? If no, then you are damn lucky! For those that answered yes, and feel in general that they have always been different, then these written words are for you.

I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It”. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. Too many years of crying for nothing!

You feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite Oscar Wilde quote. In a strange and cool way, you are unique and perfect exactly as you are! Walk with your head high, and a smile on your face.

These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse? One day I said to myself, enough with this damn crap, and decided to simply be who I am. I cut the hair away from my face, threw out my heavy studio makeup, and had my first normal walk outside.

My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to banish him out of her life. She was depressed, and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it.

So who really notices your imperfections? YOU! You are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things, and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!

Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues. 1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body. 2: Let go of past garbage. Simply let it leave your mind and heart. 3: Don’t always try to please others. If they don’t like you after you tried to be good to them, then it’s their problem! 4: Avoid negative people. Keep them out of your life! 5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you! 6: Be who you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others. If you like odd clothing, then wear them. If you want to skip and hop instead of walk, then do it. Don’t care whatsoever what people think. As long as you are not hurting anyone, then you are ok. 7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it, and wear it with pride! 8: Learn to love yourself. You are the only one that can heal yourself. Be good to yourself, respect yourself, and believe me, everyone else will as well! Show others how you want to be treated. 9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself. 10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy! Once you feel strong inside, please help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!

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Bad Girls kill Good Guys!

Thank God it’s the bloody weekend, and you’re having drinks with your best buddy. After a few Geripptes glasses at your friendly neighborhood apple wine dealer, he starts telling you a heart wrenching story about Ms. X. We all know this “Ms. X” – there are many of them all over the world. She’s the one that will walk into your life, have her fun, empty your wallet, rip your heart out of your body, and will magically disappear when she feels like it. Leaving you empty and bitter against all womankind. Sorry Dear, you have just been played by a Bad Girl!

They exist, and they are evil! Not only do they shatter hearts, but they also shatter a man’s opinion of women. Once bitten by a Bad Girl, the poison seeps deep into the body, and takes over the brain. Slowly it changes the man and turns him into a Bad Boy as well. Then, there is an uncontrollable desire for revenge. It’s a curse that has been passed on from millennium to millennium. It’s even worse than it’s cousin the Vampire – because at least Vampires still have feelings. No, the Bad Girl and Boy are more evil than that – they are merciless, and they will tear your soul out with their bare hands, and eat your heart alive. You have been warned!

An acquaintance of mine, let’s call him “Yold”, is one of the worst Bad Boys in Frankfurt. I know his stories about how many women he hurt. I constantly try to persuade him to change his ways, but unfortunately he doesn’t! Last week he broke up with his latest passion. She is a beautiful, kind, intelligent, generous, warm and sweet woman. I wished that finally he would settle with her. But of course, like with all the others, Yold broke her heart into tiny pieces and discarded her for the next one. I know that deep inside, he is not bad. The tragedy is that long ago, when he was still a young nerd, a Bad Girl came into his life, played him, and crushed his manhood and ego. Since then, he swore that no women would ever get that deep into his heart again. The Bad Girl damaged him, and now he is taking revenge on all other women.

What attracts Good Guys to Bad Girls, like flies to dirt? Let’s play Prince Charming: It’s a natural instinct to feel the need to rescue a woman in distress. You see the Bad Girl, and feel that you can give her what she’s missing. The problem is that she will take and take. Once your life energy and bank account are empty, she will find the next fool to suck dry! Excuse the pun. She will never appreciate it. Instead, open up your eyes, and see how many wonderful, kind, lovely, beautiful, warm, and genuine women are in need of a true Prince Charming! These Good Girls will appreciate everything that you have to offer. They will be loyal and loving partners in life. They will go through the good and bad with you, be there when the sun shines, and stay when it becomes dark. These warm women will listen to your fears and sorrows. Don’t you want to have a happy, wonderful life full of true love? The problem is that you associate “Good” with “Boring”. That’s a damn shame.

Wild, exciting, crazy sex: You are addicted to her body like an expensive, illegal drug. She controls your mind and fantasies. With a lick of her tongue, she can send you to the gates of heaven and back! You become a slave to her seduction and passion. She screams your name, while tearing up the sheets on her 8th orgasm. You feel like a Sex God. You are Hercules, and your ego has never felt better! But after the sex is over, she picks up her purse and walks out of your life. Then she decides to come back and walk all over you again. Why do you allow these Bad Girls to do this to you? Good Girls can be tigers in bed as well, but the problem is that you do not even give them a fair chance to show you this. You judge the book by the cover, and put it away in your basement before even reading it. Then you wonder why these women you choose are such bitches! Why? Because you fall for the wrong ones!

Excitement and challenge: The rush of not knowing what will happen next! Every evening with these Bad Girls is like an adventure to the dark side and back. She makes your heart beat faster, and the blood rush through your veins. Wake up! She does the same with you and 69 other men. You’re not the only one, and you never will be. That’s what you like don’t you? You want to tame that wild beast. You want to be the hunter that managed to catch the Bad Girl and turn her into an obedient wife and mother. But the funny thing is that even if you “do” manage to do that, you will get bored so fast, and soon be drooling over the next Bad Girl. Stop torturing yourself. You will never change her, she is damaged goods. She is selfish and cruel, and cares only about herself. Leave that Bad Girl to her own kind. Let her deal with her archenemy Mr. Bad Boy. But the problem is that he doesn’t want her. He goes after the Good Girls, and ruins them for life. It’s sick.

It’s a never-ending cycle. Bad ones turn the Good ones into Bad ones! It’s about time for this viscous circle to stop. Men, open your eyes to the bigger and better things in life. Examine your priorities. Do you want to end up old and alone, without anyone there to make you a cup of tea in order to warm up your shriveling body? What about having your best friend beside you, that one person that you can share your secrets, fantasies and wishes with? WAKE UP and realize what you are wasting your time on! I am sure that you have a good lovely female friend that would enrich you with her true love. But instead, you buy the monster-from-hell a beautiful 2-carat Tiffany’s engagement ring. Well, sorry buddy, that’s your own damn problem. Rest assured that in a few years you will be spending thousands of Euros on a good therapist because your monster has been sleeping with your best friend for the past year. You wanted a Bad Girl? Congratulations, you got one! But happiness will never be part of the package with her. It’s time to be smart gentlemen. It’s time to go out there and find yourselves a proper Good Girl!

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Emancipation? You don’t need a man?

Girls, you ask yourself, “Why can’t I find the right man?” you wish that you can have the perfect partner. But what do you really want? Easy communication, sex, cooking that exotic meal, hours spent together talking about life?

 

The problem is that you are too strong! You ask why? And the answer is, we can do everything ourselves. In today’s day, we are like a man. We can do everything on our own. We are strong, we earn enough money, we have large flats, and we don’t need anyone’s help. Or do we?

I often see my girlfriends asking the same old question, where are the good guys? Why don’t we meet them? Can is be that you are pushing them away? Subconscously, you don’t want to admit this, but you are. Men feel this. They have a sixth sense. They know when a woman needs them or not. And honestly, today we do push them away.

What can we do? One suggestion, you can be more feminine. Simple as that. Be more sweet, be more understanding. Listen to him. Even though you don’t have the energy and desire to hear what he is saying, make the effort to hear what he wants to share with you. You are his best friend. Be there for him. When was the last time you made yourself pretty for him? Really to catch his attention? Our habits are to get used to someone and after not make the same effort as in the beginning. You are not the only one, This is a normal human reaction. So don’t feel bad.

Plan number one: Try to show him that you need him… even if you don’t. You have the heavy load at home, and you can’t pick it up, show him that he has to help you. We all know that you can pick it up yourself. Honestly, you can do everything yourself… but then the question arises if you can do everything yourself, then why do you need him? You know what I mean? Its ok to tell a white lie. No one will get hurt. You save your back muscles and your man feels that you need him.

Ladies, lets be honest, the important reason you need a man by your side is to keep you warm at night. Waking up on Sunday morning in your bed can be nice, but with a warm man beside you it’s nicer. We were all single and we know how these bloody Sundays are. We don’t like to admit it, but its true. But you can change that…

Show him that you are not always the boss. Sure we have the emancipation time, but we don’t have to turn into a man. We must keep our femininity. What the men need there days, is a little bit of warmth. It doesn’t matter if you are the owner of a huge company or an assistant, you can still keep feminine aspect. Wear that lovely dress next time… the one that you bought for special reason. Every day is a special reason. The best reason is that you don’t need to dress yourself up to impress a man, you do this for yourself. Self confidence is the sexiest element of a woman. But at the same time, the man will appreciate this. You killed two birds with one stone.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to impress him, do it for yourself, and you will be happy as well. And be sure that you will turn a few heads in the process! Girls we are our own worst enemies. We wished to have freedom, success and power. Now you have this, but are you happy? Can it be that we push them away because of our behavior? If we do, then we can change that now.

I always say that we can have it all. We can be super successful and we can have our true love. What we need is to bring that sensual feminine appeal back! Why not? We can fulfill our wishes and still be very successful at what we dream of! My mom always says to behave like a nice cat. Show that you are paying attention, but still show your independence! You can have it all, but you must be smart. I say that woman are more clever than men. Do you agree? We all just want to be loved. You deserve the very best!

Stick around with your friends that are happy and that can teach you how you can have everything in life. Stay away from the miserable girls. You don’t want to adept their emotions. You have one life and you were given a chance to live it to the fullest, so go ahead. I had a friend of mine always tell me that whatever mood she has when she goes out, is whatever she has to attract people to herself. If you show positivity and happiness, than you will attract the same people to you, and hopefully your true love.

To be honest, all that men seek is a woman that supports him, and shows herself as a female to him. She cares about him, and makes sure that he is happy. And of course, in the process she is happy as well, because he wants to make her happy in return! And I guarantee you that when he is happy, he will try to do everything to make you happy as well. It’s a chain reaction. So, would you like to try it? I would suggest it…

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